Although this is a sad occasion, it is also an opportunity to express our appreciation for the person Joolz was, and the impact she made on her family, her friends and those she came in contact with.

My name is Richard Aldridge, I am a secular Minister, and I feel privileged that Joolz herself asked that I conduct today's ceremony. Like me, Joolz had no religious beliefs; however, she did have her own spiritual and philosophical views. Let me quote Joolz' own thoughts on her beliefs:

"Those who know me know that I am not religious, but I do have a deep sense of spirituality. Much of this has come from time spent in the natural world and from integrating my sense of the world and my spiritual beliefs into daily life. I have tried to live my life in a way that is true to my beliefs, philosophy and ethics."

For those of you here, including Joolz' own family, who have your own religious faiths, I am sure that you will agree that our shared values are of more lasting importance on this occasion than any matters that may divide us. There will be an opportunity for reflection later, when you may remember Joolz in your own way. Whatever your own beliefs, I hope this ceremony will help you at this time.

Death is a very personal matter for those who know it in someone close to them. But we are all concerned, directly or indirectly, with the death of any individual, for we are all members of one human community, and no one of us is independent nor separate. Though some of the links are strong and some are tenuous, each of us is joined to all the others by links of kinship, love, friendship, by living in the same neighbourhood or town or country, or simply by our own common humanity. Joolz had time to consider her own thoughts on death. This is what she said:

"My philosophy and spiritual beliefs have prepared me for a good death without fear. These, along with some confirming life experiences, lead me to see death as a release from this physical body into a much lighter and more fluid spiritual form. I feel joyful anticipation when I imagine this and know that I will be set free when I shed the weight and pains of my physical body."

No-one should be afraid of death itself; it is as natural as life. All that has life has its beginning and end, and life exists in the time span between birth and death. For those of us who do not have a religious faith, the significance of our lives lies in the positive links that we build and in our achievements during that span of time. Whether we have a belief in life after death or not, we can all agree there is a continuity which lies in the positive memories and deeds of those who knew us, and any influence we have left behind. This is beautifully conveyed in the poem 'I am there' by Iris Hesselden.

I am There

Look for me when the tide is high
And the gulls are wheeling overhead
When the Autumn wind sweeps the cloudy sky
And one by one the leaves are shed.
Look for me when the trees are bare
And the stars are bright in the frosty sky
When the morning mist hangs on the air
And shorter darker days pass by.


I am there, where the river flows
And salmon leap to a silver moon
Where the insects hum and the tall grass grows
And sunlight warms the afternoon.
I am there in the busy street
I take your hand in the city square
In the market place where the people meet
In your quiet room - I am there
I am the love you cannot see

And all I ask is - look for me.

With that in mind, today's ceremony is an opportunity to celebrate the life that Joolz lived. I had the privilege of meeting Joolz only once, when she was Best Woman at the Wedding of her friend Cherry, but I have found out more about her from her own written thoughts, from her family, friends and her life partner and soul partner, Boogie.

In this short space of time that we have to reflect, we cannot do justice to the life that Joolz lived. We can, however, trigger some memories in you that will hopefully support you in your grieving for Joolz. So let us remind ourselves of Joolz the person, and her life.

Julie Marie McLay was born in Middlesborough on the 5th of October 1963 to Joe and Kath McLay, joining an older brother, Mark, and subsequently the family was completed with the arrival of younger brothers, Andrew & Chris.

Joolz attended a local Catholic school, and is remembered though to her early teens by her older brother Mark, with whom she shared a passion for art, as standing out from the crowd as a unique, fiercely intelligent, prolifically creative and strongly individual person from an early age; somebody destined to do great things.

She was also a very popular and outgoing girl, and then as now, had a wide circle of good friends. Mark also fondly remembers one magical, halcyon summer on the water at the start of the 1970's when he and Joolz, who had just come through a serious illness were taken on holiday to the Norfolk broads by their loving Auntie June and Uncle Don.

Let's hear from Joolz' youngest brother, Chris, on what it was like to grow up with Joolz:

Chris to come forward to lectern and read:

Everybody here today will have come with different thoughts and different memories of the same one person. Joolz, the Artist. Joolz, the best friend Joolz, the Art Therapist. Joolz, the lecturer. Each of us all have our unique relationship with her. To me, for example, she was never Joolz. I don't think I ever once called her by that name. She was always Julie and she was my big sister.

There's a seven year age gap between the two of us and when I was a child, that was just the right amount of years for me to look up to her as someone who knew about pop music, art, fashion and life in general and in turn it was just the right amount of years for her to look down to me as her adoring servant and obedient little brother. For the best part of the 1970's we played these roles perfectly as I hung on her every word of advice and taste and opinion and followed her around (often to the embarrassment of her and her friends) as she treated me as the sponge for knowledge and slavishly loyal little brother that I was.

I was rewarded in this relationship with a childhood that money could not buy. We spent hours together - making things, creating worlds and playing games. She taught me how to create art out of nothing and we made everything from Christmas decorations, birthday cards, tie dye t-shirts, endless scrapbooks, puppet theatres to cuddly furry toys made out of empty toilet rolls and balls of old wool. I thought she was a genius. She then taught me how to play every board game in the known universe - though she never taught me to win because she always did. She also nurtured my love of reading which Dad had started and shared with me a knowledge of weird and wonderful books and introduced me to a mind expanding world of fantastic fiction and we shared many tastes in this area for years and years afterwards.

As we grew up in to our teens and beyond, the age gap began quite naturally, to get more apparent. We lived in different parts of the country and began to live different types of lives. Whenever we saw each other though, whatever her new look was or whatever colour her hair was at that time, she was still very much Julie and all her radical changes of image and appearance as well as the stories and ripping yarns that she brought with her were what made Julie, Julie.

If anyone has been lucky enough to go to my Mam and Dad's house, they will have seen an amazing collage of photographs of Julie which depict her from childhood to adulthood and show off many of Julies individual looks and styles. From blue to red to purple coloured hair and clothes made out of everything from leopard skin print to leather, to flowery dresses and tie dye t-shirts, all the fashions are there. Some great hair do's - and a few hair don'ts - but everyone of those pictures is totally Julie. When I look at those pictures, they make me smile and feel so happy. She was of her time and ahead of her time and she was never scared - of anything really and this was one trait she displayed right through to the end.

As adults in our 30's and 40's, we take the existence of our brothers and sisters for granted and our paths often cross less and less. Even when this happened with me and Julie, I would still often bump into people who on discovering my surname was McLay, would ask if I had a sister called Joolz. They used to relay their stories to me about her and it was usually about Joolz the Anarchist or Joolz the Artist or even Joolz the Traveller and as I said, I didn't really know her in any of these guises but suddenly they would say something and I would smile and think, "They're talking about our Julie". I hope this will continue to happen in my life, long after today.

Julie made an impact on us all in so many different ways and we'll all miss her in equally different ways but I feel happy and lucky and proud to have been her brother and by being so, to have such wonderful memories that I will have and hold on to forever.

Thank you.

Thank you Chris.

In 1985, Joolz trained in Fine Art at Cleveland College of Art, where as well as having a great time, she made lifelong friendships, and from 1986 to 1990 she went on to Newcastle Polytechnic, where she finished, in her own words, "disillusioned and wanting to be a waitress."

By 1991, Joolz was one of the partners involved in setting up a women's circus group. Their performances included the trapeze, fire, theatre and human skills, but no animals and no men! Joolz specialised in fire sculptures and she continued on her way having great fun and enduring abject poverty. Joolz had always loved travelling, hungry for new experiences, people and vistas, enjoying all that life could offer and learning more each day.

Joolz' life changed in 1993, when she took a Post Graduate Diploma in Art Therapy at Sheffield University, and finally discovered what she wanted to do. For the next 14 years she worked as a Child and Adolescent Art Therapist with Sheffield NHS. Joolz' close friend and former work colleague, Neveyne, will share with us her memories of how uniquely Joolz touched colleagues and clients alike with her artwork, understanding and kindness of spirit:

I first met Joolz in the Autumn of 1997 where she interviewed me for the Consultant job. It was an informal interview: what people call in the profession "Trial by Sherry" - there was no sherry and it wasn't glamorous but it was certainly quirky, relaxed and fun. This is how it all started and this how it carried on for the next 10 years!

Joolz was certainly quirky, with her flamboyant and colourful style, her amazing hair, her nails and her elegance. She was certainly fun, with her infectious throaty laugh and her sense of humourand she was certainly relaxed, with a capacity to say the most personal and emotional things in a most calm, accepting and therapeutic way.

But Joolz was much much more than that, more than time would allow and more than words could express, and this is why I am here now: not to say what she was but to thank her for what she's given me for all those years, for what she's given the South West team and given to all those patients we shared.

Thank you Joolz for the amazing sense of beauty and containment you have given us, through your work, your wicked laughter, your compassion for your patients, your patience with all of us and your wisdom. Your "sixth sense" (or whatever you want to call it) helped us understand what we and our patients were going through - you helped us process things at all sorts of levels and you made us realize how much good (and evil), laughter and joy there was in all of us. You always combined your clinical expertise with academic knowledge, human curiosity and depth of thought. Your case presentations are stuff of legend and remain in the team 'folklore'. Despite being a private person, you were never afraid to reveal inner thoughts and to use your experience to help us understand our patients. We have learnt, thanks to you, that our biggest gift is our humanity and the biggest gift we can give others is a bit of ourself.

Although the team has changed, you are very much there. You are actually there from the moment people come in through the door, your art project in the waiting room still attracts comments and admiration: It is there to remind us of what makes us feel good and what should matter to us. The fun postcards and the penguins pictures in the building ooze your sense of fun and your pride to be a woman.

You are also in our memories of the patients we shared. Patients I was able to give to, thanks to you, because you helped me see beyond the surface and helped me admire their true self as well as respect their pain and their journey through healing - yes you have healed so many: you haven't been laying hands or anything like that, but as good as!

Of course, you are also in all my memories of the trips and fun we had together starting with that lovely day at Paddley Gorge 10 years ago, and that first Xmas at my house, and all the others that followed! I regularly look at the team photos to give me courage to carry on what we all started many years back.

Joolz, you have given me so much. You have made me appreciate my family more but most of all, you have always been there, supporting me in my various roles, giving me belief in myself and intuitively understanding (without me saying a word) all that I've been going through. You made me access various layers of spirituality I didn't realize I had. You loved me unconditionally and remembered me even in your battles against cancer! I have always admired your selflessness and your capacity to hold others in mind despite your own journey with pain. Your cards to me are on my desk and I look at them when I need strength and when I need reminding that I can do it. They, like you, will always be with me

Thank you Neveyne.

Around the time Joolz began her work, she fell in love with a boy with the unlikely name of Boogie, whom she'd met through a mutual friend. Since then they have been truly inseparable, sharing the same outlook on life and the same loves and interests in art, music, literature and having a rocking good time.

Although their only Wedding Certificate was part of a publicity feature for the film "Romeo & Juliet", theirs has been a marriage in the truest sense of the word - because marriage means the taking of another person in his or her entirety, as companion, as lover and as friend. It is the maturing of love, freely given and gladly returned.

With Boogie, Joolz travelled far and wide, both spiritually and physically - Joolz was able to fulfil a lifelong ambition when she and Boogie undertook a tortuous journey to reach the abandoned village of the Haida Native Americans, located on the remote Queen Charlotte Islands off the west coast of Canada. Joolz had marvelled at the pictures she had seen of this village in a National Geographic Magazine as a small child. As she grew, her deep interest in Shamanism, native beliefs and Haida artwork, some of which we see here, had after many years and many miles led her here to fulfil her spiritual yearning.

It is perhaps important to note that in many of the native cultures Joolz studied, it is believed that surviving acute illness at an early age often leads to that person becoming a Shaman, Seer or Visionary, and though in a very modern context, Joolz drew deeply on these practices in her later life and work.

The fact that Joolz chose to have her farewell here in Sheffield, close to the area she had lived and loved for many years goes some way to show how she felt about her new home and circle of friends. Besides her work here, there is so much to tell by so many friends of her Sheffield years, but those here who knew her during this time will be blessed with the newest memories of her laughter and friendship, and it must suffice to say that her spirit is written large, brightly and lovingly upon their hearts, and long may she remain so.

The love of life and nature is at the heart of today's Celebration of Joolz' Life, and Joolz herself chose a poem for her funeral by Byron, or "Bad Lord Byron" as Joolz liked to call him, which will be read by her best friend, Cherry and her new daughter Elvie Ariane, who Joolz saw for the first time just days before her passing, returning the favour of a poetry reading by Joolz at Cherry's Wedding.

Cherry with baby Elvie Ariane to come forward to lectern and read:

There is pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where non intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more,
From these our interviews, in which I steal
From all it may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.

("Bad" Lord Byron).

Thank you Cherry and Elvie.

Music, as well as the written word, can speak directly to our emotions. Boogie and Joolz shared a deep love of music, and the choices of music for this Celebration have been carefully chosen from a list which Joolz herself wrote for this day. We entered to the uplifting 'Chelsea morning' by Joni Mitchell, and we'll leave to her favourite ,and very appropriate Doo Wop song, "Life is but a dream" by The Harptones. But now, it's your turn, at Joolz' request, to sing along to the traditional and much loved song "Wild mountain Thyme". The words are in your Order of Service.

Would you please stand.

Music: "Wild mountain Thyme"

Joolz' father, Joe, will now speak of his own memories of her life:

Julie had an auspicious start to her life , born in a rare October Blizzard around 6pm on a Saturday evening in 1963 . Unknowingly giving me my first fission of fear concerning her and her Mam . After my usual Saturday game of football I took the bus up to Parkside Maternity Hospital to the ward I had left Kath in earlier that day .Only to see an empty bed and two nurses , with bloodied aprons who exclaimed "doesn`t he know ? " I feared the worst , what that was , was that Kath had delivered Julie via A Caesarean operation which was not so common in those days . I let my breath out and Julie let hers out ! Mewling and spewling for the next 12 months , particularly on a night .

Once Julie settled down our life was enriched by her laughter and creativity , which never ever lessened despite her final illness .

The next occasion that gave Kath and I a tremendous fright was when , at the age of eight she began hemorrhaging heavily and was taken into Middlesbrough General Hospital . On this occasion while waiting for the results of the initial tests , two specialists discussing the case in my presence uttered the dreaded word Leukaemia and again my blood ran cold. Fortunately ,this was not the case and we never ever did find what the cause had been , but Julie did go on to suffer disruptions of the blood such as Anemia throughout her life .

Once again all our lives returned to normal with Julie holding her own with her three brothers and all of them benefiting from their rich family network of Aunts ,Uncles , Nieces and Nephews .These were the shaping years for them all and they were never short of varied inputs and stimulations . The late Tony Hart will be well remembered as a major influence , although no greater than her immediate and extended families ..Games and pastimes of all types were tackled with enthusiasm and tenacity and I think it was from here that the seeds were sown of Julie`s enthusiasm and indomitable spirit .

Most of you here will at some time have received one of Julie`s personal cards which were so personal and special to us all . Mine were often to do with football ,which I had a weakness for and featured men of the era in which I played in brief shorts , big boots and shin-pads . She retained a skeptical tolerance of us males who played and supported the game , seeing us , I think as a bit ruffianly and out of our heads . I regularly had to explain to her just why Neil Warnock could lose his cool over an unjust decision in an Owls and Blades encounter .

With an only daughter like Julie it was only natural that I would become a little protective and concerned when she started to go out with one of ` The Outlaws `.Yes we did have some outlaws in Eston , they were a fine family and Julie spent many hours in their company . She recently mentioned in a letter to me how her and Michael used to laugh about an occasion when they had been to The Rock Garden and on their return home were dallying on the doorstep at Barnaby Crescent . That is until I burst out of the door in my boxer shorts and sent Michael packing .I hope they are still laughing about that , I can`t remember it myself but it seems par for the course !

In her late teen years Julie immersed herself in the local art scene through , music ,poetry and in her dress code . No conformity here with us parents , she knew we preferred her lovely natural auburn hair , but , by she was stunning in her reds, greens and purples . Art College and University stimulated her further , but it was the Art Therapy course which impacted upon her most , giving her a real purpose in life amidst a set of colleagues and mentors who inspired and supported her right to the end .

At this time too Julie met and embraced the love of Andy Perry-Booth , later known as "Boogie " to us all . Little did we know this shy and quiet man would become the light of Julie`s life and become indispensable to both her and us . As cousin Craig said " Boogie , you're a star " That is one absolute fact .

The last seven or eight years will be better known by you here in Sheffield through work and play . We visited when we could and loved our visits to the local hostelries and the nearby Peaks and Parks . Julie stimulated us through book and film recommendations , her music loves and tolerance of ours , particularly the country music and jazz . A short but exceedingly rich life , what more could one ask ? As she often said to me ` rock on daddio ` Reciprocate Julie .

Thank you Joe.

In the Summer of 2006, having not been blessed with the best of health for a while, Joolz was diagnosed with Cancer. Bravely, and with the loving assistance of Boogie, her friends and family, Joolz did not allow her condition to overwhelm her, and continued to live as full a life as possible, travelling when she could and seeing many old friends. She held on into this New Year, long enough to see her important book, "Love, Desire & Teen Spirit" in print and seeing and cherishing Cherry's first child, Elvie Ariane just days before her passing. Joolz finally crossed the bridge from life to death peacefully at home on January 27th. with Boogie at her side.

Will you please stand whilst we say our formal farewells.

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose upon earth,
A time to be born and a time to die.
In love and affection we have remembered the life of Joolz McLay
And now, in sorrow but without fear,
In love and appreciation,
We release her body to its natural end.

And when the stream that overflows has passed,
A consciousness remains upon the silent shore of memory;
Images and precious thoughts that shall not be,
And cannot be, destroyed.

Please sit down.

Appropriately, Joolz chose for today a lovely song by The Byrds, "Turn, turn, turn", which includes some of the words just spoken and reflects Joolz' view of life and nature. The words were taken from the the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible. Whilst we remain seated and listen to The Byrds, please take the opportunity to quietly reflect on the memories of Joolz to you as individuals. You may come forward and place a token or flower on the coffin. Those of you with religious beliefs may wish to offer a silent prayer at this time.

Music: - "Turn, turn, turn" - The Byrds

I hope that, with its brief account of her life, this ceremony will help each of you who loved and knew Joolz to come to terms with her death.

Boogie has asked me express his deepest thanks to friends, family, carers, his employers and everyone else who has given ongoing support in all its forms throughout Joolz' illness.

Joolz asked for no headstone or marker but should you wish to visit her, simply look to the nearest flower or or tree, and she will be there for you. To help you remember her, by the door you will find packets of wild flower seeds collected from Joolz' beloved garden, Canada, Iceland and all around the UK. Please take one if you wish.

Joolz was also interested in the celebration of the Mexican day of the dead on the 1st and 2nd of November, the Catholic celebration of All saints and all souls day. Should anyone wish to celebrate in traditional style with Joolz upon this day, I'm sure she will join you in a few gin and tonics and some vegetarian snacks.

On that subject, Boogie and Joolz' family, invite you to join them after the Ceremony at The Beauchief on Abbeydale Road, where you can share your own memories of Joolz and raise a glass (or two) in her memory, and listen to more of her favourite music.

Should you wish to make a donation in Joolz' memory, there is a donation box at the exit here; the contributions will be passed to the Sheffield St. Luke's Hospice, whose deeply compassionate care of Joolz was valuable beyond measure in her final months.

So, how can we best sum up Joolz' McLay. Well, as we have heard:

• She was a loving and much-loved soul partner, daughter and sister.


• Joolz was full of life, deeply spiritual and at one with nature.


• If ever you could describe someone as a "People Person" it was Joolz; she was generous and had time for everyone, she was not judgemental of others and most of all she really tuned into people - she showed a true empathy with everyone.


• She was blessed with a great sense of humour and the sound of laughter was as important to her as her own heartbeat. As she mused on her approaching death, she ended her book with these words: "Recently I have liked to indulge my imagination that my spirit would be led by the winged youth Thanatos and that, for a moment, as he lifts me up in the beating of his wings I briefly taste what it is to fly. Unfortunately, I may not be able to report on that."

Let me pass on to you what Joolz has said about herself and her life:

• Joolz believed that, although she had led a life not always in tune with societal norms or the law of the land, she'd lived a good life and had a damn fine time!


• She believed she'd made a small contribution to the world, and hoped that she had left some positive influences with those she worked with.


• Joolz felt she had been lucky enough to have been loved and to have wonderful friends and a good family.

We have been remembering with gratitude and love, a life that has ended and begun anew.

Let us leave with more of Joolz' own words, from the dedication she wrote for her book, and which in turn, we dedicate to her:

"I dedicate this to the winged fliers, those who shake you out of your everyday self. It is for the ones who force you to open your heart more than you were willing to do so. The ones who leave an indelible imprint on your soul."

Thank you.

Closing music - "Life is but a dream" The Harptones